K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
