and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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