Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
