My first STD was from a foam party
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
