Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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