Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
