So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
