I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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