If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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