saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
