what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
