We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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