1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think I died a long time ago.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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