After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
