so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
