Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
