I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
