brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
