smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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