Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
