You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
