I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
