Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
