What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
