I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
