"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Randomize
