It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
