I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
