we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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