No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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