Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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