He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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