in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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