I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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