Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
