Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
