Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
