I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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