good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
