do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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