I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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