He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
