it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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