Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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