Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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