HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
