You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
