i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
