Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
