If that was your dad, he is hot
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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