And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
